


All That's Best of Dark and Bright

by PalenDrome (nerdherderette)



Series: Bedtime Stories [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Beauty and the Beast Elements, Cunnilingus, Curses, Dark Magic, Digital Art, Embedded Images, Eventual Happy Ending, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Kylo Ren Redemption, Light Bondage, Masturbation, Minor Violence, NSFW Art, Possessive Behavior, Somnophilia, Voyeurism, Yoda is wise he is, monster!kylo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-01
Updated: 2017-01-01
Packaged: 2018-09-11 04:38:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8953918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nerdherderette/pseuds/PalenDrome
Summary: monster noun  mon·ster \ˈmän(t)-stər\: a strange or horrible imaginary creature: something that is extremely or unusually large: a powerful person or thing that cannot be controlled and that causes many problems-Source: Mirriam-Webster's DictionaryA Beauty and the Beast pastiche [excerpt]:Snoke's sonorous voice filled the chamber, the edges of his gaping mouth crinkling with glee."I am sure you have heard the stories, Kylo Ren. Of ancient Sith Magic, and the powers it can wield.  Of its ability to alter the environment, based on the perceptions of the mind.  It stands to reason that the strongest and most emotional of perceptions are also the hardest ones to break."Desire can be a powerful but capricious mistress. Despite your willful disobedience, I shall grant you what you seek. But know this..." Snoke's hand waved, and Kylo felt the tendrils of Dark Magic settle uncomfortably around him like an ill-fitting cloak."The girl sees you as a monster. So a monster, you shall be."





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cuddlesome](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cuddlesome/gifts).



> Dear cuddlesome,  
> I fell in love with the originality and fantastic possibilities of your prompt. I also tried to incorporate most of the relationship dynamics that you favor;) This was an absolute blast to write; I hope you like it! <3
> 
>  **Prompts:**  
>  1\. Kylo transmorgifies into a literal horrifying, inhuman monster thanks to Rey's perception of him and the Force having a sick sense of humor.  
> 2\. Kylo lords his greater physical size over Rey in an attempt to try to make her feel as small and insecure as he feels inside  
> (Any one of these prompts can also have _'And they have sex'_ pinned onto them, because I also love that)  
>  **Enticements:**  
>  1\. Kylo crushing/perving hard on Rey who's pretty spiteful towards him but lowkey into it  
> 2\. I would like if they were isolated from the Resistance and First Order so that they would be alone in their dynamic  
>  **Rating:** Explicit  
>  **Additional Thanks:**  
>  -To the incredibly talented **panda-capuccino** (link to her tumblr below) who captured everything I was imagining in my head  <3\. (The first piece is not too graphic, but I tagged it as NSFW just in case)  
> -To the all the amazing mods for their encouragement, enthusiasm and hard work in running this fest.
> 
> -Art by [**Panda-Capuccino**](http://panda-capuccino.tumblr.com/). Links to larger renderings on tumblr are included in the end notes

  **.~oOo~.**

**She Walks in Beauty**

She walks in beauty, like the night  
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;  
And all that’s best of dark and bright  
Meet in her aspect and her eyes;  
Thus mellowed to that tender light  
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.  
One shade the more, one ray the less,  
Had half impaired the nameless grace  
Which waves in every raven tress,  
Or softly lightens o’er her face;  
Where thoughts serenely sweet express,  
How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.  
And on that cheek, and o’er that brow,  
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,  
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,  
But tell of days in goodness spent,  
A mind at peace with all below,  
A heart whose love is innocent!

_~Lord Byron_

 

**.~oIo~.**

**_Many of the truths that we cling to depend on our point of view_ **

**_~Yoda_ **

The sun manages to pierce through the canopy of trees, their moulting, brilliant leaves littering the forest floor. Despite the relative warmth of the autumn day, Kylo feels  _unusually_ cold. Unusual in that it was the kind of freezing and numbing sensation which one gets as a result of abject terror.  The kind that comes from cold sweat pouring down one's back, or an unsettling chill down to one's bones.

He pushes forward, bloodied and bruised, a reluctant participant in a race against prophecy and time. He had barely escaped the wreckage of his shuttle in one piece; even now, he can feel the shocks which had jarred him as the stabilizer wings had clipped row after row of hardwood, his small craft skittering as it ploughed a trench through the heavy litterfall. If not for the ragged, stony outcropping which eventually halted his progress, the race would have ended in the unfathomable depths of an unforgiving sea.

The brittle foliage crunches under his feet and the line of trees begin to blur.  His breathing grows loud, his olfaction sharp, and his hearing keen, and he nearly keels over from the pounding of his heart as he scents his growing fear.

He knows he's succumbing to the change.  It's an uneasy and horrible feeling, one which began as he descended towards one of the unnamed islands in the archipelago that borders Ahch-To. It is the beginning of a presaged transformation—the fulfillment of a curse—which causes him to ultimately lose command of his ship and spin helplessly out of control.

It is with no small amount of bitterness that he reflects upon how quickly his life has changed:

 

_The Supreme Leader's words had been purposefully cruel and unfortunately shrewd, and his censure had left Kylo feeling childish and weak._

_"I am disappointed, my apprentice. You have lost not only your focus, but also sight of your purpose and path. You have compromised the tireless work and lives of many others, by putting your needs above the Order's own."_

_The duracrete surface is cold and unforgiving against his knees.  Kylo resisted the urge to shift, as he remained prostrate and obsequious on the ground._

_"I am sorry, my Master." The silence stretched painfully between them as Kylo hesitated a beat. "But I know there is something strong within her. I have seen the evidence of her potential_. _With her on our side, we would be an unstoppable force."_

_Snoke hissed.  "You still wish to pursue the girl?  Do you not think that you are unstoppable enough on your own?"_

_Kylo bowed his head. His tongue feels thick and sluggish, and he grows acutely aware of the wound on his side which starts to throb and ache._

_He delays his response for just a fraction too long. He feels the sudden intrusion as Snoke pushes into the recesses of his mind.  Kylo frantically tries to resist the probing, but his efforts are too little, too late._

_The Knight flushed as Snoke finally withdrew, along with a disappointed sound._

_"You dare to continue to put your needs above our own.  After all that you know?" Snoke asks in disbelief._

_"It is not just her power, My Lord. I sense a great loneliness and anger within her. We could use this to our advantage, to turn her towards the Dark. I—"_

_Snoke waved him off angrily.  "I need your attentions elsewhere, Kylo Ren. There have been rumors of latent magic near the site of the Temple of the Ancients. I want you and your Knights to travel to Rakata Prime and investigate this, posthaste."_

_Snoke's dark eyes narrowed into unseeing slits.  "This is your next task. I forbid any further discussions regarding the girl."_

_Kylo seethed. He was so close; he could feel her presence as well as that of his uncle's, their combined strength beckoning to him from what he now knows is the island of Ahch-To. He would lose the opportunity to capture her, should he embark on the mission to Lehon..._

_The walls rattled dangerously with the force of Snoke's fury._

_"You—" he sputtered.  His thin lips pursed disapprovingly as his eyes withdrew further into his sallow face. "You think to defy my command?_

_"You have always been an arrogant child, Kylo Ren, vain and obsessed. I once thought that your weakness would lie in your ties to your family, but I see now that it is in the girl named Rey."_

_He_ _laughed as Kylo flinched._

__"You_  cannot shield your feelings from me, my apprentice.  You say you wish to teach her, with the hopes of turning her to our side. But it appears as if your interest in the scavenger may not be entirely pure."  He mused as he caught Kylo's stricken expression. "Could it be that what you feel for her is something of a more....forbidden nature?"_

_Snoke probed again.  The memory loomed, exposed at the forefront of Kylo's mind, his humiliation bared as the girl met his offer of help with her words of disgust._

**You're a monster.**

_Snoke did not attempt to hide his contempt._

_"She detests you, you foolish boy! In her eyes, you symbolize everything she hates.  You are a man who represents the First Order, a man who brought her into the heart of enemy territory and subjected her to an interrogation against her will. A man who toyed mercilessly with her outmatched companion before delivering a near-fatal blow.  A man who not only betrayed his very own blood, but who stooped to their murder in order to achieve his selfish needs."_

_Snoke's sonorous voice filled the chamber, the edges of his gaping mouth crinkling with glee._

_"I am sure you have heard the stories, Kylo Ren. Of ancient Sith Magic, and the power it can wield.  Of its ability to alter the environment, based on the perceptions of the mind._   _It stands to reason that the strongest and most emotional of perceptions are also the hardest ones to break._

_"Desire can be a powerful but capricious mistress. Despite your willful disobedience, I shall grant you what you seek. But know this..." Snoke's hand waved, and Kylo felt the tendrils of Dark Magic settle uncomfortably around him like an ill-fitting cloak._

**_"The girl sees you as a monster. So a monster, you shall be."_ **

 

Kylo runs, the graceful strides of his legs turning predatory and feral as they assume a powerful and loping gait. His garments grow uncomfortably tight as they rip at the seams, their shape no longer befitting his current form.

His tongue lolls, and there’s a dizzying sensation as the forest floor speeds away with the growing distance between his shoulders and his feet.  His eyes sting with the residue of his sweat; he moves to brush away the signs of his exertion when he lets out a yell. The shock he experiences from the fresh cuts to his forehead pales in comparison to the sight of the elongated claws which have since replaced his nails.

It is the result of the most ancient of magic, a manifestation of the spiritual darkness which can lie within us all.  It’s a story he had heard as a child, and one which he had dismissed as a cautionary tale.

It’s too late to admit his grievous error in judgment. He pushes ahead, desperate to know what he looks like, to discover what he has become.

The girl thought him a monster.  If his image confirmed such a heinous opinion, he doesn't stand a chance in hell.

He spies a lake.  The surface is tempting and glassy as it reflects the dying sun. The bold colors shimmer and shift as he approaches, and his stomach sinks as their brightness is replaced by the appearance of a thick, ebony pelage and the dark barbs of an avian's plume. His horror peaks as he searches desperately for any recognizable remnant of his humanity but sees none, save for a pair of eyes which peer out mournfully from beneath a lupine brow.

As a child, he had endured nightmares of being chased by monsters from the Void. It is with a start that he realizes Snoke has damned him to his worst fear, by turning him into one of their own.

Birds fly and critters scatter.  The silence of the forest is quickly shattered as he lets out an unearthly roar.

 

 

**.~oIIo~.**

**_You will find only what you bring in_ **

**_~Yoda_ **

_"Krifff."_ The quarterstaff clattered against steep side of the cliff as Rey fell forward with an indelicate grunt.  She bit back another expletive as her hand met with the unyielding surface of the heated rock, although the sound quickly turned into a sigh of appreciation upon gazing at the waters which stretched out over the horizon from a thousand meters below.

The warmth of the late afternoon sun may have been familiar, but she didn't think she could ever tire of the majesty of the sea.

She took several deep breaths and sighed as she massaged the tension from her weary muscles. She pressed her hand against the nape of her neck, rolling the tight knot just beneath her skin until the pain morphed into something dull and more pleasurable. She was no stranger to solitude or hard work—she had spent nearly all of her conscious life being a slave to it, after all—but she couldn't escape the feeling that she was always trying to grasp at something which lay infuriatingly just beyond her reach.

A flare of irritation bubbled up within her which she quickly tamped down _. "Patience,"_ Luke had said. He had warned her about the dangers of anger and fear, cautioning against their easy path. He had sensed a disquiet within her—an uneasiness which his nephew had successfully drawn forth, when she reacted to his provocations with a blinding rage.

She yearned to wield a saber, to be able to defend herself with something greater than just her staff. But to do so, Luke required that she find equanimity and peace. He had sent her to this small island to search for balance and harmony, but aside from its calming beauty and isolation, she found herself eager for something _more_...

A soft exhalation left her lungs as coolness settled over her with the setting sun. It would take her over an hour to return to her hut, and she needed to leave immediately if she were to make it back before nightfall.

She picked up her rucksack and slung the strap of the staff across her left shoulder. The leather and wool, worn soft from daily use, settled comfortably against her tanned skin. She headed down the mountainside at a good clip, the reds and oranges of the foliage blending into the pink of the sun.

It's when she nears the base of the mountain that she first senses it. The leaves rustle, and the fragile boughs of the trees bend and sway with the gusting winds. The twilight sky is dressed in a lavendar-grey hue, and she marvels at how the atmosphere of the island can so readily change with the rise and fall of the moon.

Tonight, she senses something different. She wrinkles her nose and sniffs the air. It's crisp—a combination of sea brine and the dampness of the leaves and the pine, but it's accompanied by a musky and almost canine stench. It tickles an unpleasant memory, which rapidly fades away. She looks around furtively; the forest is strangely quiet, with none of the hooting or scurrying that she usually witnesses when animals retreat.

She tries to ignore the shiver which shoots through her as goosebumps prickle her skin. Unsure of what it is that she is trying to escape, she runs the remaining distance home. The familiar dirt path cakes the top of her boots, her clothes lay sticky and sodden against her skin, while her muscles beg for the comfort of a warm bath. The eerie shadows thrown by the moon over the river dissuade her from such luxuries, however, and she retreats to the safety of her hut.

Later, she barely remembers to wipe the sweet, pulpy remains of the ghibli fruit which she eats for dinner from between her fingers, as she hits her pallet in exhaustion and finally succumbs to a fitful and restless sleep.

 

 

**.~oIIIo~.**

_**Looking? Found someone you have, eh?** _

_**~Yoda** _

Daylight has a way of making everything clearer.

Clarity can be a blessing, as well as a curse.

For the last three days, he watched from the shadows. She was as beautiful and fiery as he had remembered, a marvel of agility and speed. Yet he sensed within her a restlessness, like a blade that was slightly off-kilter as it waited for the proper hand, begging to be honed.

He snorts, the sound emerging low and thick from behind the length of his throat. Rey's frustration with her training was becoming increasingly evident. He wondered how his esteemed uncle could ignore the mistakes of his past, forgetting the consequences which can result when impatience is allowed to take the lead.

The thought fills him with a certain smugness, and he vows to show her a better way.

He followed as stealthily as he could. His long and burly limbs still feel awkward and uneven, and he moves slowly in an effort to remain quiet on his feet. The process is somewhat inefficient, but the consequences of exposure prove too great. She had already come perilously close to discovering him that first night, and he still has no idea how she would react to him in his current form, as he remains very much a hideous beast.

He reached the top of the mountain, catching her in what has become his favorite part of the day. She sits, surrounded by the scattered husks of some takhal nuts and half-eaten yarum seeds. He watches in anticipation as she pops two oi-ois berries into her mouth, their abundant juices staining the edges of her lips and turning them a bright and luscious red.  The tip of her tongue is not spared, the dainty muscle flicking towards the side of her mouth to catch the remnants of the wet, cherry color before it can descend further onto the curve of her neck.

She closes her eyes, her long lashes brushing the sweep of her cheek.  Her rounded breasts rise and fall with each deepening breath as she relaxes and begins to meditate.

Kylo stares, growing hard at the sight. He's watched her train—listened to the sounds of her breathless panting and soft groans as she tempted him with flashes of her sun-kissed skin. His sense of smell, now so keen, catches the whiff of her sex as it wafts from her pores. Her scent draws him in, its sweet and tangy perfume creating a thrumming sensation which spreads from the depths of his lungs straight to his cock, and he feels his body strain as it heeds her siren's call. 

With every passing day the impulse has grown into something more feral, a concession to the monster he has become. A part of him retains a childish satisfaction in the fact that the curse has not only left one anatomical area thankfully intact, but that its size is undeniably impressive to behold.

His prick lays hot and heavy against his thigh, and he's overwhelmed by the insatiable urge to _rut._ He growls as he imagines her underneath him, her body writhing in ecstasy as he marks her with his greedy mouth and claims her as his own.

He begins to stroke, his fingers flexing in anticipation as he presses the twitching length of his cock against the flesh of his palm.

The friction is at once satisfying yet excruciating, because it's nowhere close to enough. He pictures her straddling him, those lean legs wrapped around his waist, toned thighs clenching with her efforts as she lowers herself down.  His hand quickens as he stares at her lips, wet and beautifully parted as if it were an invitation to fuck into the lushness of her mouth. Liquid pools at the tip of his cock, copious and thick, and it spills onto his shaft so that every twisting movement ends with a filthy _squelch_.  He can't help the gasp which escapes him at the sensation, and he has to halt his movements temporarily to see if she notices the tell-tale sounds.

She remains seated on the hillock, surrounded by a fairy ring of discarded shells and under the dappled shade of a tree. Her breaths remain deep and steady, freed from the trappings of her immediate surroundings as well as any conscious thought.  He breathes a sigh of relief before returning to the task at hand.

His grip grows firmer and his muscles clench as his release looms near.  He squeezes his eyes, the desire coiling out from deep within his belly and shooting to the tip of his cock.  Colors blur into whiteness, and he's _so near, so close—_ until suddenly everything pulls to a screeching stop.  The world spins until it stutters back into focus, and he's doused with the cold water of reality as soon as he hears the sharp _Crack!_ which manifests from somewhere out of the sky.

The island archipelago is home to spectacular flora due to its mountainous topography and wide ranging climes. At higher elevations, the sun exposure and harsh winds favor little by way of vegetation except for the lone _Dracaena cinnabari_ which sits atop the island's highest point. Its umbrella shape is a thing of beauty, and the bark occasionally bleeds crimson with its sticky resin. It is breathtaking and magical, the perfect spot under which to meditate.

Except on this particular day.  Kylo doesn’t have much time to react, much less ponder why after a thousand years one of the tree's largest boughs would suddenly cleave in two. He rushes forward, using the Force to stop its downward progression as a pair of hazel eyes flies open in shock to meet his own.  Rey's eyes flick quickly upwards to see the heavy limb suspended mere inches away from her head, a potentially deadly missile weighing at least seven stone.

She blanches as the beast lowers the trunk away from her and to the ground.  He sits back, his breathing heavy from something more than just his exertions as he watches her silently with a wary eye. 

She took him in in his entirety, holding her breath at the horrible yet fascinating sight.  The creature was not Lafrarian, nor a Night Soarer—in fact, he resembled nothing that she had ever known.  He measured well over two and a half meters, with arms and legs covered in a mélange of feather and fur.  She blushed as her gaze moved downward, catching sight of the obscenely large appendage which jutted out proudly from amongst the hair which graced the juncture between the beast's thighs.

His golden eyes followed her scrutiny.  They were expressive and intelligent, yet curiously filled with what could only be an unfathomable sadness.

Luke's voice echoed through her mind.

_Fear is the path to the dark, Rey. Understanding extinguishes fear._

She held out her hands, palms facing upwards as a gesture of trust.

“Do you understand Basic?” she asked tentatively.  He nodded, and she breathed a sigh of relief.  Her pink lips curved into a hesitant and grateful smile.

“Thank you for what you did." She bit her lip, frowning at the words' inadequacy as she stuck out her hand.  "I'm Rey. ”

Kylo balked.  He couldn't tell her his name, not yet. He stared at her outstretched hand, and after what seemed an interminable minute, held it with a surprisingly gentle grip.

“You’re welcome,” he said gruffly.

Rey's eyes immediately flared upon hearing the sound.  The creature's voice was hypnotic, its tone deep and lush but hinting at something rough and dark.  She cocked her head and stared. There was something about him that seemed so undeniably _familiar.._.

“ _What are you?”_ she breathed.

Kylo's heart fell, his hand falling helplessly to his side.

 _What_ are you.  Not _who_.

He turned and leapt, ignoring her cries to stop, as he burned with the shame of his cowardice and at his inability to know the truth.

 

 

**.~oIVo~.**

  _ **In a dark place we find ourselves, and a little more knowledge lights our way**_

_**~Yoda** _

Five days pass until she sees him once more.

Kylo sat on his haunches, growling in frustration at the bloody pieces of ash-rabbit which lay shredded on the ground as a result of his fumbling, monstrous hands. He thinks back to Snoke's warning about the intricacies of dark magic spells and grimaces.  He tries once more, grasping at the progressively smaller pieces which now slip out from between his claws, determined to hold onto any vestige of his humanity, as little or as difficult as it may be.

He glares at the residue of scattered meat and bones which litter the dank soil. He's hungry, cold and weak, and he's sure that he's already lost a considerable amount of weight underneath all the ridiculous layers of fur.

It's tempting to just lower his head towards the scraps and eat directly off the ground. He makes a concession, dipping his neck so that his mouth so it hovers half a meter above the organic stench of the forest floor, scooping up bits of the ash-rabbit into his mouth along with an unfortunate side of bones and leaves. He swallows, happy just to have the sustenance, and is a bit surprised at how easily the raw and gamey pieces of flesh go down, tough sinew and crunchy marrow and all.

The sounds of his messy and voracious consumption hide the approaching fall of footsteps until he spies the fronts of her well-worn, leather boots. He looks up, the remains of his recent gorging evident in the scraps of rabbit which trail down his chest. She gazes at him, her expression bared, and the sight of it causes his heart to clench.

He had expected to witness her revulsion, but it is the pity which she holds for him instead that stings.

It wells up from within, a rumbling, menacing growl that echoes off the side of the mountain, its amplified repetition matching the extent of his pain.

 _ **"What do you want?!"**_ he roars.

A lesser person would have given into his intimidation and turned around and fled. Instead, she remained facing him, her eyes boring into him intently.  He stared back accusingly, pulling his lips into what he hoped was a semblance of a frown.

Rey held her empty hands in front of her in a placating gesture and slowly backed away.

Later on, when he makes his nightly visitation to the outside of her hut, he sees a plate of warmed food awaiting him next to her door.

 

**.~O~.**

Dawn had barely broken out over the horizon when Rey was awoken by a clanging, clattering sound.  Then something _thumped_ , and the unusual noise was followed by a stream of extremely descriptive and colorful curses in Basic.

She flung open the door. The beast's hulking figure stood next to the stone step.  He was muttering, and seemed to be arguing with the noticeable dent which now decorated the plate's wet, pewter surface.

He looked up guiltily at her bemused expression.  It had been over a week since he was miserably cursed, and he still felt clumsy and uncoordinated, at odds with alien limbs which were neither fully beast nor wholly man.

"I don't need your charity," he snarled ungraciously.

Rey chose to ignore his petulant grousing, remaining thankfully quiet about the fact that the meal was completely eaten and the plate returned cleaned.

"I had some left over. It would not keep for the 'morrow. It matters not to me whether you choose to eat it." She shrugged, although she had the feeling that the creature could see straight through her casual tone.

His eyes narrowed, but he remained silent.  He had seen glimpses of her past back on the _Finalizer_ , had known of the hunger which had been her unwelcome companion.  In his experience, those who lived with so little always found a way to utilize every remaining scrap that they had. 

She returned his stare, emboldened when he did not respond with the expected tantrum or retort. Instead, his molten eyes regarded her suspiciously. If he were humanoid, she could envision him standing with his arms folded across his chest, a _harummphing_  sound emanating from his throat.

The words had escaped her in a rush.  "Perhaps you do not need my charity, but would you be open to an exchange of sorts?"

Kylo saw her eagerness, along with her desperation.  He tilted his head thoughtfully, and would have arched an eyebrow if he could.

"What type of exchange?" he asked slowly. His tone was purposefully lascivious, his meaning punctuated by a suggestively lick of his lips.

Rey's face heated, her tan skin turning rosy as she blushed.

"I wish for you to teach me. What you did the other day, when you saved me from the bough of the tree. I want you to show me the ways of the Force."  She barreled forward, not giving him a chance to interrupt.

"I have to prepare my own meals as it is, and it would be no problem for me to gather enough victuals to feed one more mouth.  Please."

Her request took him by surprise.  He had been purposefully goading her with his lewd suggestions, but until now, he had no idea of what she would seek in return.

He nearly snorted at the irony. At how she had once scoffed at something he had offered so freely, and was now requesting—practically _begging_ him—to do the very same.

"Do you not have a teacher already, padawan?" he asked, his eyes raking purposefully over her dress.  "Or are you out here, training on your own?"

Rey flushed at his observation, her chin jutting out mutinously in response.

"Yes, I do," she admitted.  "A great Jedi Master, in fact."  Kylo fought back a scoff.  "But we have been focusing on my inner readiness and my physical capabilities, and I know that it is wrong to be so impatient, but I just want a little taste— _something, anything—_ of what it means to be able to harness the Force."  She looked embarrassed at the childish nature of her admission, but the beast said nothing.  Instead, she felt a gentle and fleeting probing which nudged the edges of her mind; her eyes widened, but as quickly as it had happened, the sensation was gone.

Kylo watched her flickering emotions.  He pretended to consider her offer further, until he finally took pity on her growing uneasiness and visible disappointment and relented.

"Fine," he huffed. He tried to ignore the burst of pleasure her radiant smile brought him upon hearing his consent. "Meet me at the mountaintop at noon."

 

**.~O~.**

The manta pear hovered in the air, the scent of its overripe flesh enticingly sweet. With a crook of his finger, Kylo sent the pear pirhouetting three times before dropping it softly into Rey's lap.

"That's brilliant!" she laughed as he responded with a grin.  She picked up the now idle fruit, looking at it thoughtfully before placing it carefully on top of the others in her rucksack.  They had collected enough in under two hours to hold them over for the remainder of the week.

Kylo hummed in satisfaction. The last several days had been near-bliss.  Not only was Rey an apt and eager pupil, their sessions gave him the opportunity to finesse his movements and improve his control.  He couldn't remember the last time he felt such pride over what would rightly be considered a small victory, yet the outcome filled him with such a joy that it reminded him—however briefly—of what it meant to have a soul.

He discovered that these were his favorite hours of the day, the ones spent with just the two of them moving things around, at one with the energy of the World around them. He stole more than the occasional glance, marveling at the way she bit her lower lip in concentration, or delighting in the way her eyes sparkled with each success.

His uncle had always had an aversion to using the Force for what he deemed "frivolous" purposes.  When the result was such beauty, however, Kylo was hard-pressed to find anything frivolous about it.

He focused on a bed of wildflowers that still retained their yellow and purple blooms.  He smiled secretly as they began to magically fill the air, whirling together in a riot of color and surrounding her in their delicate fragrance until they fell in one great, glorious bouquet at her feet. It is a bit of a parlor trick, to be honest, but the delight in her eyes makes it worthwhile, and he's proud that he still has the ability to impress.

"Thank you," she breathed, picking up the gift and turning it around in her hands.  She peeked at him from underneath her lashes as she removed an amaranthine floret.  Her nimble fingers worked quickly as they wound its green stem into the thick braid of her hair. 

Kylo flushed with pleasure.  He tried to tamp down on the unwelcome guilt which also cropped up at her obvious delight.  Her astonishment upon witnessing such trifles was a tad ironic, he realized, when her latent abilities were more than a formidable match for his own.

He wishes he could tell her, to encourage her confidence with the information he already knows.  But the price for such an admission is his identity, so he holds on tightly to his currency and remains silent, a pauper to his shame.

At the end of the week, he checks his reflection in the waters on the east side of the hut. He squints as his image darken under the setting sun, the surface flickering as the water shifts from the evening's breeze. He tries to suppress his bitter resignation upon seeing the lupine face which stares back at him accusingly, flanked by a pair of avian wings.

_The girl sees you as a monster. So a monster, you shall be._

He swallows, the taste in the back of his throat acrid and unpleasant but uncomfortably familiar.  When the passage of each setting sun reveals the constancy of his heinous reflection, it becomes progressively more difficult for him not to believe it to be the truth.

 

**.~O~.**

Kylo took his time tonight, savoring the meal of the cattail deer that he had taken down earlier in the day and then laid so proudly at Rey's feet. Rey had slathered the hindquarters in a layer of suet before roasting it over a makeshift spit.  The grazer had been gorging itself in preparation for the cold months ahead, and its flesh was meaty and tender, the morsels melting in his mouth with nearly the same rapidity they had shown in falling off the bone. He let out a pleasurable sigh; along with the generous helping of stewed manta pears, Kylo almost felt content.

He rinsed his plate under the cold waters of the rushing river, its strong current rinsing the surface clean. He replaced the plate at the foot of her door; as he turned to make his way back towards the safety of the woods, a movement in the softly lit window caught his eye.

Rey entered his line of vision.  She was clad in little more than a towel, her skin scrubbed pink from the heat of her bath. Damp tendrils hung along the side of her cheeks, their tips clinging to the curve of her neck. He sucked in a breath as she leaned forward, irrationally jealous of the droplet of water which clung to the cleft between her breasts. He panted upon glimpsing the shadow which crowned at the apex of her thighs, and when she dropped her towel to the floor and bared her body to his gaze, he had to physically restrain himself from bursting into the hut and carrying her to bed.

 _You're a monster_.

Kylo conceded to his desire, surrendered to his inner beast. He slipped deeper into the anonymity of the shadows near her window as he waits.

 

**.~O~.**

Nights should be a time for restoration and sleep.

For Rey, they are a time for awakening.

Ever since her first encounter with the mysterious beast, she has been haunted by the images which infiltrate her sleep. They are fragments of memories, both from recent days as well as those of a more distant past.  They flitter in and out of her consciousness, warped pictures which loop and glitch like the broken threads of a holofilm.  At times, the edges clear and the image becomes more defined, but the entirety of the tableau always remains somewhat obscured.

The first time she dreamed, she dreamt of a masculine body, tall and imposing, with shoulders so broad they could easily cradle her slumbering form. One the second night, she dreamt of hair as soft and dark as the moonless night, and on the third, of pillowed lips sensual and cruel. On the fourth, it was of eyes which flashed dark or light, depending on their owner's mercurial moods.

And on each and every night, there was always a presence that loomed, brimming with anger and turmoil and regret.

Tonight, the full moon bathes the small room in its silvery light.  A shadow falls, a dark stain that cuts across the lunar glow as Rey drifts between the planes of wakefulness and sleep.

She sighs and turns, greeting the fall of feathers which embrace her in their wake. Their tips trail along the inside of her legs in a seductive caress, and ends with the press of lush lips against her sensitive skin.

A warm huff of breath softly tickles her downy curls, fanning the embers of lust which spread through her like wildfire and lick up and down her spine. Large hands palm her buttocks as they begin to lift at her hips, urging her legs to fall open wide. The scent of her arousal lies thick in the air, and she can't suppress the gasp which escapes her as he inhales deeply and groans. 

He sniffs her at the source, the tip of his nose rubbing at her swollen folds until he replaces it with his mouth.  He grows sloppy as he dives in, devouring her with the skillfulness of his tongue. He swipes at her slickness, first greedy and insistent then gentle and teasing, and she cants her hips, thrusting against him and riding his face wantonly as he laps at the juices which spill along the edges of her cunt.  She writhes as he lets out a satisfied hum, and she can imagine the mouth which holds her hostage smiling as it continues to lick and suck.

The pressure is maddening—his fingers press into her heated flesh, their thickness growing coated with her pungent slick—and if the obscene and filthy noises which they create weren't enough, he stiffens his tongue and begins to jab it into her dripping slit.  He eats her pussy as if he were starved for her taste, flicking and circling and pushing and probing and fucking into her relentlessly even as he grinds his leaking cock against the roughness of the sheets.

 _Kriiffff._ Her back bows, and she feels the warmth of a dull flush that spreads across her body at the embarrassing, _mewling_ sounds which keep coming from her throat.

He preens, letting out a muffled laugh as her fingers tangle forcefully into the lengths of his hair.  Strong arms takes mercy on her, and she is quickly repositioned so that she is upright and straddling his lap.

His smile grows wicked and his eyes stare intently as he raises his hand.  Strands of the Force caress her, invisible ribbons twisting along her arms as they slowly tighten to ensnare her wrists, pulling her knees apart and winding themselves around her thighs.  She's not frozen, but she can't _move_ as she wants to, her ass and pussy held hostage inches from his rock hard prick.

She lets out a soft sound of frustration.  She should be furious, but his show of prowess only serves to deepen her lust.  She _wants_ him—wants him to rid her of her emptiness, to match her passion, to make her feel _alive._ Its a physical and emotional need—to be stretched, to be taken, to submit to pleasure as he plows her with every gorgeous inch of his cock.

His pupils darken as if he reads her thoughts.  She leans forward enticingly, her breasts thrust forward, her hips rocking back.  He brushes a straining nipple with his lips, grinning as it hardens and puckers.  Even in the pale moonlight he can see the pink flush which colors her chest above the dusky nub, the shade deepening he takes it into the warmth of his mouth and laves its pebbled tip with the roughness of his tongue.

His irises are barely visible around the black of his dilated pupils, and she grows suddenly shy under the carnal intensity of his gaze.  He shifts so that the head of his cock, leaking and red, nudges the area between her pussy and her ass.   Her breaths are coming out in these desperate little huffs, but he withholds from her what she desires the most as he continues to tease.

_Tell me you want me, Rey. Tell me who you see._

She answers him with a needy moan. He lowers his lips onto hers as he swallows the sound, smelling of the cedar of the forest and an animal's musk.  She sucks on his tongue, tasting the tangy residue of her own juices intermingled with their spit.

He entices her once more with a roll of his hips.  The tip of his cock brushes maddeningly across the surface of her cunt and it glistens with her slick as the movement paints a wet stripe along the length of his shaft.

 _Tell me,_ he insists roughly as he licks into her parted lips.

 _I want_ _you,_ she admits.  The words are true but incomplete _,_ and it is with a sudden clarity that she realizes what she truly desires.

 _Fuck me.  Take me, claim me, make me yours_ she begs, the words tumbling out in a mad rush.

_Make me belong._

_Mine_ , he growls fiercely, the word thick in his throat.  He hauls her to him triumphantly and releases his hold. She sobs in relief as she finally sinks down onto his rigid length.  He's long and hugely thick, and the sensation is almost  _too much_  as she stretches around him and sheathes him in her welcome heat.

She arches into him as she rides his cock, her fingers digging through the mass of feathers which litter his shoulders as they grasp at the muscle underneath. He thrusts into her as she bears down, meeting each of her quickening movements with a desperation of his own. His expression is feral yet oddly tender, flickering between the lines of human and beast until the distinction is eventually blurred.

He kisses her deeply, his tongue licking inside her mouth as he devours her, fucks her, sucks her— _marks_ her, so that his presence is tattooed forever on her soul.

 _Who are you?!_ she cries as her thighs tremble and her pussy begins to clench.

His mouth forms the words in response.  There's a relief in those golden eyes as he begins to spill his release, but the answer to her question lies forever buried under the sounds of their screams.

She awakens with a jolt, entangled in only her sheets.  The night air is biting and cold, and her heart sinks when she realizes that she is once again alone.

She draws the covers around her, a makeshift cocoon stained with sweat.  Somewhere in the darkness, a lonely wolf howls and a bird sounds a mournful coo.

She gives in to her exhaustion, oblivious to the wetness which slowly trickles from between her legs. As she closes her eyes, the last image she is left with is a pair of golden eyes burning into her own.

 

 

 

**.~oVo~.**

_**Named must your fear be before banish it you can** _

_**~Yoda** _

"Again."

Rey gave the beast a baleful glare as she clasped the hilt of the training blade and angled her arms near her hips.  She circled warily before feinting to the left, but he wasn't fooled by her trickery, and when she lunged, he neatly avoided contact by stepping to his side.  She could barely contain her groan of frustration as he countered her parry with a simple and almost careless riposte.

 _"Arrrgh!"_ Rey bit back a curse as she fell. The satisfaction she felt upon hearing the loud _thud_  of the infuriating blade against the tree became short lived as her knees hit the ground.

She grimaced as her opponent twirled his sword, cutting figures in the air with a powerful and balletic flourish. 

"You're thinking too much," Kylo admonished. "You need to let go of your surroundings.  Allow your weapon to guide your movements.  Don't mistake what you _think_ you see with that which you truly need."

He walked over to retrieve her fallen sword and replaced it in her hands.  Rey felt an uneasy tug in her navel when she realized that the handle was still warm from his touch.

"Take your time, and don't rush your steps. Remember, it is an accurate hit and not the most forceful one, which provides the deadliest blow."

"That's easy for you to say," Rey grumbled as she observed the his movements. Despite the awkwardness of his size and the stretch of his limbs, he moved with surprising agility and grace. She watched as he brought the length of wood overhead, his makeshift weapon coming alive as he circled and thrust.

For not the first time, she wondered where the beast had acquired his skills. He must have had significant training to be so adept in the ways of the Force, and although she had yet to see it, she would bet her store of food for the week that he had a lightsaber of his own. Still, he spent their sessions using only the materials which he could source from the meager offerings of the forest. And despite her occasional attempts at familiarity, he remained tight-lipped and distant whenever their conversations veered towards anything remotely personal.

Her sigh slipped out unintentionally.  Kylo glanced over, his eyes narrowing thoughtfully as he took in her dejected form.

"Come," he said.  He dropped his own rod onto the ground as he took her hand in his.

"Perhaps there is another way.  It is how I was taught when I was just a—" he startled when he realized just how close he had come to saying _child_ —"when I was first starting out."  Kylo kept his tone light, but his heart clenched at the memory of his uncle smiling at his success, and how his mother and father's eyes had shone with pride.

He plucked a large pear from the tree and turned it in the palm of his hand.  The sweet scent of its ripe nectar filled the air, and wafted away as he controlled its movements through space.

_Perfect._

Rey watched as the fruit circled around them, darting back and forth.

"Are we going to be playing with our dinner again?" she asked with a grin.

Kylo laughed softly.  The fruit bobbled as he stopped its movement and lowered it to the ground.

"No," he replied.  He bent down to rummage through her rucksack, straightening several seconds later as he pulled out a scrap of cloth and made a pleased sound.  He walked up behind her, and Rey felt her heart thud as her shoulders met with the warmth of his chest.

"Close your eyes," he whispered.  He slid the blindfold into place, looping the ends together in a simple knot.  The whisper of fabric on her skin and the tickle of his breath near her ear caused her to shiver.

"What—what am I supposed to do?" she asked uncertainly.

"I want you to locate the pear using only the energy of that which surrounds you.  Use your connection with the Force.  Open up your heart, Rey, and it will show you all that has lain invisible to your eyes."

"You're asking for the impossible," Rey breathed, but she relaxed her shoulders, broadened her stance, straightened her hips and held onto the rod with both hands.

Everything grew dark, but as time passed, she became more aware of the biting cold on her skin and the chattering rustle of brittle leaves. There was a perceptible shift in the energies around her as she suddenly caught the fleeting scent of something syrupy and sweet. She chased it—her body shifting as she lost herself in the thrumming currents of the Force, the edges of the fruit darting in and out of her periphery like the splashes of color set off by a heat sensory trip device.

The pear hovered to her left. She raised her rod and looped the weapon overhead, but the swing went wild and missed wide.  She felt a _woosh_  as the fruit flew somewhere uncomfortably close to her face, and she found herself taking a step back instinctively as it quickly disappeared.

She shook off her irritation and re-opened her mind.  The air was sharp, and her nostrils flared from the unmistakable scent of pine and the spicy, pulsing heat which rolled off the Beast.  The sound of her own breathing echoed in her ears—rhythmic and slow, with a hitch at the end of each inhalation before it escaped in a soft sigh.  Her heart pulsed, its beat bounding at the base of her throat.  She remained stock still, awash in her body's biorhythms, until a small movement disturbed the peaceful tableau.

The pear darted towards her right, a golden halo surrounded by the blue of the cold. There was a subtle rippling of the fabric of the Force as it bobbed twice and sank, then lifted and twirled.

Up, down, up, down; lift and twirl. Up, down, up, down, lift and...

The weight of the rod grew warm and alive.  Its color changed from a dull brown to a vibrant red as it began to hum, its energy singing as it arced up to meet the falling trajectory of the pear.  The currents of energy shifted subtly to allow the weapon to carve its path, and even before the wood made the messy connection with the fruit's ripe flesh, there was no doubt in her mind that her aim had been true.

Rey threw off her blindfold and shouted with joy, mindless of the sticky confetti which currently littered her face and the front of her clothes. The beast watched in amusement, his yellow eyes sliding into surprise as Rey launched herself towards him and hugged him in an excited embrace.

He returned the gesture awkwardly by wrapping her in his wings.   She snorted as the soft tuft of fur from his chest tickled her nose.

"That was _amazing_!" she breathed happily.

"See?" Kylo grinned, unable to keep the smugness out of his voice.  "All you needed was a bit of persistence.  Well, that and the right task, which only the best teacher can provide."

Rey laughed, the sound bubbling from within and spilling out, unrestrained.  She swam in the headiness of her success.  She thought of Luke, and of Finn—sweet, brave Finn, who had worried about her needlessly, and who had become her best friend and partner in this new stage of their lives.

She could not wait to share the news with him.  Perhaps she could even convince the Beast to join their cause, and to come back with her to Ahch-To.  She turned to ask, but the words died in her throat as she took in his furious gaze.

She stepped back uncertainly, but he held her firm in his iron-clad grasp.  The wind began to whip through the forest, scattering the leaves and snapping branches in its wake.  The sky darkened ominously as Kylo's jealousy tore through him in a maddening wave.

She had been so pure—so _unguarded_ in her thoughts.  Her love and respect for the other man was undeniable, a fact which filled Kylo with an unspeakable rage.  

He raised his hand up angrily.  Rey's eyes widened in horror as she found herself being driven backwards, the accelerating movement stopping only when her back slammed painfully against a tree.  She would have buckled from the force of the impact, if not for the fact that her limbs also became rapidly restrained.

Kylo loomed, then bridged the distance between them in a bounding movement that ended with his leg insinuated between her thighs.  He pushed against her and snarled— a choked, inhuman, garbled sound.  His eyes turned black with madness as he became consumed with the need to drive out the thoughts of the other man from her heart and her mind.

He could taste the brine as the spray of the sea drowned him in its violent roar.  Detritus whirled as his temper unleashed, and a jagged missile flew perilously close.  His cock hardened and he began to rut, grinding down on her furiously as he eyed the line of her throat.  He drooled at the sight of her racing pulse, and his lust swelled at the thought of licking that vulnerable line—of turning her tanned skin purple, of marking her for his own.

Rey watched, outraged, as he leaned in with an open mouth, filled with his bared and sharpened teeth.

 _"Please don't."_  The sound of her terrified voice broke through the haze of Kylo's lust, just enough to cause his movements to slow.  As the veil of his anger slipped from his face, he glimpsed the faint sheen of the tears which threatened the corners of her eyes.

Rey watched as his expression grew less wild, his eyes changing from their dilated black to a horrified brown and finally a haunted gold.  She stared; she had  _seen_ those eyes before—had seen them looking out at her from a different face, watching her, assessing her, as if they could stare into her soul...

The realization hit her like a sucker punch to the gut, nearly causing her to retch.

_**Kylo Ren.** _

_"It's you,"_ she whispered shakily.

Those two words felled him in a single swoop.  He stumbled at their loathing and accusation, and she fell forward as he released her from his punishing hold.

He reached towards her in apology.  She staggered back to avoid his touch and pushed him away.

"No!" She grappled futilely for her staff, still weak on her feet. "Stay away, you wretched beast!"

Kylo flinched.  He wished he could recall his actions, to be able to reel in his anger and bury it somewhere out of sight.

He reached out once more.  "Rey," he croaked as he begged for her forgiveness.

His eyes were as large as a massif's.  She could drown in the depths of his sorrow, but he was undeserving of such mercy.  His haunted and broken image was the last thing she saw as she closed her eyes.

"Go away, Kylo Ren.  If you have any good remaining within you, leave me be."

He answered her with his silence.  When she reopened her eyes, he was gone.

Rey grabbed her rucksack and ran, not stopping until she reached the safety of her hut.  But despite the fading light and her haphazard emotions, she did not miss the wide swath of destruction Kylo had left in his wake.

On that night, the door to her hut remained tightly shut, and there was the conspicuous absence of a plate.

 

 

**.~oVIo~.**

_**Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose** _

_**~Yoda** _

It had been one week, two days, seventeen hours, and some steadily increasing minutes since she last saw Kylo Ren.

Not that Rey missed his company, or anything.

No, she mused.  Her restlessness was just the result of a near month of imposed isolation, a winding down of her Initiation Trials as set forth by Master Luke. It was only the result of the winter's growing cold, its shorter days and longer nights forcing her to spend more time indoors.  It was merely the result of a looping schedule of meditation and endless self-reflection, and of countless days of running and training, which left her exhausted and lonely at night.

She did not miss him.  Certainly not those lazy afternoons spent swirling bits of rocks and branches into the distance, or spiraling fruits and flowers through the air.  She did not miss the need to prepare an extra plate at dinner, or the warmth which bloomed in her chest upon seeing it returned clean.  She had no need to see his knowing smirk, or to feel the strength and comfort of his arms when he held her exhausted body at the end of the day. And she most certainly did not miss dreaming of him—of the way he made her body sing and her blood thrum as he kissed her and devoured her and rid her of the emptiness which she felt inside.

She grunted, feeling mutinous at the little voice within her which laughed at her protestations.

The past week had left her feeling all out of sorts.

She looked out over the horizon as she stood under the shooting limbs of the  _Dracaena cinnabari_ , losing herself in the grey-blue depths of the raging sea.

"When will I be ready?!" she yelled at no one in particular. She spent so many of her years waiting for _something_ , for a destiny which seemed just beyond her reach.  With Kylo at her side, she had almost believed it to be within her grasp.

"You have always been."

The words were spoken so softly, they were almost swallowed by noise of the crashing waves.

Kylo stood several meters away, slumped against a large boulder. It was obvious that their week apart had taken its toll.  The bones of his hips just out where they previously had not, his long fur was dull and matted, and a grayish pallor colored his formerly luminous skin.

She felt an absurd sense of relief at the fact that he was still alive.  And as quickly as it occurred, it was replaced with a raging, hot fury.

" _You skrogging piece of Bantha poodoo!"_ Rey cried. She threw herself at him as the anger washed over her.  "How dare you deceive me? Was this your idea of a cruel joke?"

Kylo remained still, a part of him welcoming her verbal lashes as well as the pummeling of her fists.  It continued for several minutes until she finally went limp with exhaustion.

"I cared about you.  I _trusted_ you!"  Her voice remained muffled in a half sob even as her head stayed buried in his chest.

His heart broke at her words. The self-pity which he wallowed in for the past week quickly turned to shame.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, over and over again. When she didn't respond, he allowed himelf to tilt her chin up in order to gaze into her stormy eyes, before wrapping his wings around her in a half-embrace.

They sat there, the silence broken only by the occasional creaking of the boughs as they bent in the wind, and the thunderous beating of their hearts.

Rey reached out and fingered the barbs on one of his feathers between her forefinger and her thumb.  She saw that many of his feathers had molted, while the remainder had lost their iridescent sheen.  Her fingers moved slowly, laying each one flat in the same direction until the ruffled, irregular surface was once again smooth.

She looked up, and saw him watching her steadily, with an unreadable expression in his eyes.

She held him in her gaze.  "Why would you do such a thing?  What could you have possibly gained from seeking my company in this way?" she asked evenly.

Kylo sighed, then looked away. She deserved an explanation.  He could give that to her—or at the very least, a portion of the truth.

"This was—well, hardly the way I would have chosen to meet you," he said with a half-hearted shrug. "Although it is a fine bit of irony that the reason I am in such a state has every thing to do with my inability to let you go."

He flushed at her surprise. "I felt something within you from the minute we first met," Kylo admitted.  "You challenged me.  You were brave—even defiant, in the face of my abilities.  You _saw_ me—saw things in the span of a couple minutes that even those who were closest to me did not know.   The thought of teaching you consumed me.  Not only to explore your incredible capabilities, but in the hopes of eventually having you by my side."

She shifted her weight, trying not to think about how well their bodies fit against one another. A single leaf drifted into her view from the branch of the dragon tree.  Rey watched as was carried by the wind for several directionless yards until it finally fell into the sea, mixing with the brackish waters which pooled along the jagged outcroppings as they eddied along the banks.

"You can imagine that my obsession with reaching you did not sit well with Supreme Leader Snoke. He punished me for my disobedience by invoking an ancient Sith curse."  He drew a ragged breath.  "It was also my obsessive nature which caused me to lose control."  _The thought of another man touching you, of having that which I desire for my own._  Kylo turned away, ashamed, his shoulders stiffening as his fists clenched at his sides.

He willed them to relax.  "It is not an excuse.  It was wrong, and for that, I apologize." 

The light from the midafternoon sun fell across her face.  The hurt and anger was still there, but it was tempered by a flash of something deeper as her pupils dilated and darkened.

Rey looked up at the sky.  The greyness diffused the sun's glow, and the air felt heavy and sharp.  "If it is a curse, then can it not be broken?"

Kylo hesitated.  He couldn't tell her how to break the bonds of the Dark Magic which ensnared him. There was the possibility that she would feel an undeserved guilt at the role she had played unwittingly in its formation, despite all of the terrible things which he had done since.   And her knowledge would not help its dissolution, at any rate.  The spell was not something which she could will away; it could only be broken by a change which had to come from her heart.

 _You're a monster_.

"It is doubtful," he answered bitterly. "The curse has a cruel design. The strength of the beliefs which enabled it make the chances of breaking it very slim indeed."

He retrieved something which lay hidden behind a makeshift shelter of pine boughs and rock.  The metal handle of the lightsaber was unmistakable; the unique shape of the saber's quillon vents made it undoubtedly his own.

"I was guilty of omission," Kylo stated. "But it was never my intent to deceive.  I would still like to teach you—if you would have me do so."

The saber sat cradled in his oversized hand.  For an interminable moment, he thought she would refuse, until he felt her slim fingers clasp over his own.

"Show me who you are then, Kylo Ren," Rey whispered fiercely. "Show me that I was wrong."

They spent the rest of the afternoon training, and Kylo understood the meaning of second chances when he saw her enthusiasm for learning under his tutelage renewed. But once the saber was powered off and the long shadows of the fading sun settled over their tired and weary forms, their bantering quieted as they fell into an uneasy truce.

For the next four days, they fell into the same stilted routine.  They trained together, and during these times, Rey's growing skills and physical and intellectual prowess made those hours fly.  In the evenings, Kylo would walk her down from the mountaintop to the stoop of her door, gracing their journey with impersonal conversation and enough physical space.  Rey would thank him for his lessons by preparing his evening meal, the plate of which he would subsequently devour and return cleaned.  And when the moon rose high in the sky, Kylo would skulk back towards his corner of the woods, from where he would watch over her protectively for the rest of the night.

On the fifth night—Rey's last night on the island, before she was to return to Ahch-To—the routine changed.

Kylo stood by the door to the hut, shuffling awkwardly on the hard ground as Rey pushed down the handle down. He fought a shiver; the earth was frozen, and its coldness was painful on the delicate padding of his feet.  He turned to take his leave when Rey suddenly paused.

"Would you like to come in? For dinner, I mean," she clarified hastily. "It's cold tonight, and the air smells of snow."

Half an hour later, they sat across from one another, each with a hearty portion of pan-fried harpercod and a side of quinto patties on their plates.  Perhaps it was the warmth of the fire, or the extra helping of fermented blumfruit that made her tip her face towards him, softly reflecting the light.  Or perhaps it was the sound of her laugh, more potent than the sweetest Arkanian milk or mead, which caused Kylo's heart to stretch at the seams.

He found himself leaning forward, losing himself in her eyes as she chattered on about her run-ins with the thieves and ruffians she had occasionally encountered on Jakku.  And in that moment, he knew that even if he were consigned to live his life forever in this form, it was worth it in the end to experience a moment such as this.

She smiled as she saw his contented expression and shifted in her seat, the movement causing their thighs to touch. Even with all his feathers and fur, she could have sworn that she saw him blush.

 

 

**.~oVIIo~.**

_**Already know you that which you need** _

_**~Yoda** _

Kylo watched as Rey placed her gloves and canteen into her rucksack. The quiet between them was deafening as she pulled the cord and zipped the cover closed.

"Well," Rey said uncomfortably. "That's all of it."

She took a look around the empty hut. The table lay bare, the floors were swept clean, and the hearth was damp and cold. 

"You'd best be making your way towards the west side of the island," Kylo said gruffly. "My uncle should be landing there soon."

She looked at him wistfully.  "Come back with me to Ahch-To," she urged.

"Luke—"

"I'll talk to him first. Were the mistakes of your past so bad as to be inexpiable?"

Kylo hung his head. He looked down, staring at the hocks which jut out from the back of his legs, down past the fur which peeked out from the holes of his tattered garments, and to the claws which hung over the ends of his feet.  

"Look at me," he said with a heaviness in his heart, "and you will find the answer which you seek."

"Kylo..." Her eyes softened, and she raised her hand to rest it against the hairs on his cheek.

The tenderness of the moment was interrupted by a sickening sense of déjà vu.  Kylo moved quickly, trapping Rey's body between his forearms and his chest as his hand muffled her indignant shout.

 _Don't say a word,_ he beseeched as he sent her a mental warning through the Force. His eyes scanned their surroundings as his body remained tensely coiled and ready to spring.

Rey's protests at being manhandled died in her throat as she heard the sound of several voices carrying over the ridge.

"He could not have made it far, given the fact that his shuttle is now in worse conditon than that junk pile he grew up with. Search by the river; it appears to be the most convenient source of water on this island, and where he'll likely be."

"Uh—sir? What exactly are we supposed to be looking for? I mean, if the rumors are true, he could be _anything—"_

The first voice let out a huff of impatience.  "Signal me if you find _any_ life forms.  I will know if it is Kylo Ren."

Kylo frowned as a pair of marching footsteps trailed behind the fading voice.  The rhythmic and graceless gaits undoubtedly belonged to a pair of stormtroopers.  There was something about the third presence, however, that gave him reason for concern.

Kylo let go of his hold on Rey and motioned her inside. She nodded, removing her quarterstaff as she tossed his lightsaber into his hand. She reached into the bottom of her satchel, and felt a bittersweet relief as the blaster pistol slid into her grip.

Kylo's eyes widened at the sight of the firearm. He reached out to touch its muzzle and then pulled away shakily, as if he had been burned.

"It was Han's," Rey said matter-of-factly.

Kylo swallowed; from the moment he laid eyes on it, he had already known.

"You need to leave now," he said urgently.  "They are not aware that you are here on this island; their orders are only for me.  But Snoke knows of your talents.  If he were to find you..." Kylo let the implications of the outcome dangle heavily in the air.

Rey shook her head.  "I am not leaving you here by yourself!"

Kylo grew frustrated at her obstinance. "I can handle them well enough on my own!" he cried, unable to keep the desperation from his voice.  "You would only slow me down if I have to worry about your safety as well!  Go now, or I'll—"

Rey's eyes narrowed dangerously. "Or you'll do what, Kylo Ren? Make me go against my will?"

Kylo stared.  She was ridiculously stubborn and positively infuriating.

He admitted to himself that she was absolutely perfect.

"No," he conceded. He sighed as he tugged on her arm, pointedly ignoring her pleased grin. "Come on, then.  We need to get out of here before it's too late."

They stepped foot out the doorway, only to be greeted by a startled grunt.

"I think it's too late," Rey murmured, aiming her blaster as the long shadow of one of the troopers fell in front of their path.

 _"Pfaassk,_ what is that thing?!" the shorter one gasped as he took in Kylo's form.  "It looks like some kind of mutant Hassk!"

"Sir, we found him," said the other shakily into his comlink.  "He's by a hut near the mouth of the river.  And he has company."

Rey's warning shot was deflected off the trooper's betaplast shield, and he retaliated by dispensing a volley of blasts. She willed her mind to open itself to the changing energies around her and her body instinctively followed, evading the paths of the glowing particle beams as she ducked and rolled.

Rey grimaced as one of the shots narrowly missed her ear, singeing the ground. As accurate as her pistol was, its compact size could never match the SE-44C's punch. She began to despair at the mismatch in firepower, when a voice spoke to her from within.

_A leaf may be felled by the strength of a saw or the gentleness of a breeze.  It is not always the power of the weapon which allows you to win._

Rey forgot about her pistol and focused on the space around the trooper instead.  His movements amplified and slowed; she watched the way his knees lowered and flexed, the stilted movement of his torso, and how his arm lifted as he angled his weapon towards her chest. She shifted and and lunged in response, her heels digging into the hard ground as her mind focused on the small boulder which began to levitate and waver behind the trooper as she fell.

The jarring impact of her left shoulder hitting the ground rattled her teeth, but she traded the pain for a grin of satisfaction as the boulder flew forward, striking the trooper from the back. He pitched forward, his blaster firing a succession of shots which went high and wide as the large rock entrapped him against the cold earth.

There was a muffled sound of surprise before he stilled.  Rey spared the trooper's immobile form a quick glance before turning her attentions towards Kylo. The former Knight was making quick work of the roaster, diverting the flames with a flick of his wrist before jamming the line to the propellant tanks.  The build up of pressure rendered the flamethrower ineffective, and caused a violent propulsion as the backlog of pressure forcibly ejected the trooper at least twenty five meters into the air.

Kylo's pleasure at watching those armored limbs flail was cut short by a strange noise.  As he turned towards the gurgling sounds, his blood froze at the sight.

Rey's eyes were rolling wildly as her hands scrabbled desperately at her neck. She was suspended inches from the ground by the invisible hand of the figure which stood at her side.

Kylo took a hard look at her captor.  He was dressed in the familiar woolen cloaks and black armor which immediately marked him as a Knight of Ren.

"Let her go, Barbot," Kylo's hands clenched forcefully around his lightsaber as he powered it on.  Its red blade crackled unevenly, its energy barely controlled as it hissed and sparked and gave off a deadly hum.

The other Knight laughed condescendingly. "So this is how you have been spending your time, Kylo? Dallying with such frivolous pursuits." His face settled into an ugly expression as Rey twisted furiously, her toes skittering againt the ground in a poorly-aimed kick.

"Fiesty.  I could see how one would be tempted," he leered.  "Although I must say, the experience seems to have left you a bit worse for the wear."

Kylo stepped forward.  His lightsaber sparked, its red glow amplified by the twilight sky.

"I said, let her go," he growled.  He felt the energy whip around him as he started to lose control.

Barbot Ren looked at Kylo with visible disdain. "Your arrogance is pathetic.  You can barely control your own emotions, yet you wish for me to obey your pitiful command."

Kylo sneered.  "You were always too ambitious for your own good, Barbot.  The enormity of your ego is only outmatched by your flagrant disrespect."

Barbot bent forward in a mock bow.  "I learned from the best."  He took a step forward menacingly. "Respect?" he spat.  "After all that has transpired, you think that you are still worthy of my respect?"  A look of disgust passed over his face.  "You have always treated your position in the Order of the Knights of Ren as if it were an automatic birthright.  Where were you when we were sent to Rakata Prime?  Do you really consider yourself our leader when you abandoned us, leaving us to the mercies of the Yuuzhan Vong?"

Kylo looked more closely and saw the healing wounds on the other Knight's face.  His voice shook.  "Snoke didn't give me a choice.  I would never have—"

"There is _always_ a choice," Barbot Ren sneered.  "You were just too selfish to see it.  But you made yours, and to what end?  To become a disgusting, subhuman piece of filth.  Revered by no one, and master of none."

"Yet, I must still have _some_ worth," Kylo said with a bitter laugh.  "Considering the considerable efforts you have gone through to retrieve me for Snoke."  He glanced worriedly at Rey, whose eyes had taken on a glazed look.

"Let the girl go, Barbot, and I will go willingly in her place."

A moment of uncertainty passed the other man's face.  Despite Kylo's beastly form, the unstable energies of the shrieking winds and stormy skies reminded him that his former leader was still very much in command of the dark side of the Force.

"Your lightsaber.  Shut it down and toss it to me."  He tightened his stranglehold in warning. Rey felt a dizzying sensation, and the ground began to pitch as her vision turned spotty and black.

Kylo powered off his blade and tossed it towards Barbot without a second thought.  It landed with a thud at the other Knight's feet.

He held up his now-empty hands.  "I did as you asked, Barbot. Now let the girl go."

Barbot chuckled as he picked up Kylo's discarded weapon. He released his hold on Rey, who fell gasping towards the ground.  She gulped, grateful for the  precious mouthfuls of air which burned their way back into her lungs.

"It is no wonder that Snoke made Calcifer Ren our new leader. You have grown soft with your emotions. Your feelings for the girl have made you vulnerable and weak." He picked up Kylo's lightsaber and inspected it curiously.  He powered it on; it burst forth with a terrible power as it ignited, the sound defeaning as it jetted through the vents.

Barbot stood over Rey.

"A bit of poetic justice, don't you think? For you to have come so far to finally find her, only to have her taken away by the weapon made by your hand?"  And with those prophetic words, Barbot Ren swung Kylo's lightsaber over and down towards Rey's head.

Kylo let out an anguished roar.  In that moment, he knew he had both everything and nothing to lose.   His heart burned with fury and desperation as he leapt through the air and directly into the beam's deadly path. There was a searing pain as it cut through his flesh, and his nostrils filled with the acrid, protean stench of singed fur and burnt wing.

He caught a glimpse of Rey, her figure luminous against the greying landscape.   _This is what it means to stare into the face of beauty_ , Kylo thought as he fell, staring up at the spinning, muzzy sky.  He vaguely made out the buzz of his lightsaber as the pitch intensified and grew. 

Rey looked up in horror as Kylo remained helpless on the ground. Barbot Ren raised the red blade once more.  His control over the Kylo's powerful weapon was erratic at best, but at such a close proximity, his graceless form would matter little in terms of the lethality of the hit.

She patted her side, grateful for the cold and unforgiving metal which greeted her feverish hand.  She whipped out Han's blaster and fired off a succession of shots. Her lips pressed into a grim line of satisfaction upon hearing the saber clatter to the ground. The Knight stared at her in shock, his eyes lowering to the gaping wound in his chest with a dawning horror before he collapsed lifeless next to Kylo's side.

Rey ran over to Kylo. Her hands shook, and she fought back the blur of tears as she noted the erratic movements of his chest.

"Don't you dare," she pleaded as her fingers traced the angry edges of his wound. "Not when I have just found you."

His eyes fluttered open at the sound of her voice.

"Rey," he whispered weakly.  He ran his thumb along the curve of her jaw, looking at her as if she hung the sun and the moon, his eyes filled with longing and regret.

She thought of all that he was.  A man whose abilities had given him the promise of the greatest of powers, yet whose self-doubt and loathing made him weak.  A child who was capable of great anger and cruelty, yet who would have as easily sacrificed his life as well as lay a bouquet of flowers at her feet. A person who struggled with balancing the competing forces of the Light and the Dark, and whose quest for perfection showed him that he was, above all, a complex of contradictions, and that in the end, such perfection did not exist.

He lay before her, an imperfect man.  And that was what made him so perfectly—and beautifully— _human_.

_**Open up your heart, Rey, and it will show you all that has lain invisible to your eyes**._

She closed her eyes, conscious of the pounding of her heart as she lowered her lips.

His mouth yielded to hers, needy yet soft.  She heard herself sigh as she breathed in his scent, and felt his hand entwining in her hair as she leaned further into their kiss.

The world tilted and spun as a light suffused the earth around them.  The harsh wind shifted to something less stinging, yet no less strong, its whisper as heavenly as a diathim's blessing.  The sharp vanes of feathered arms morphed into muscular flesh, while the scratch of his fur gave way to the broad, hard planes of his chest.  He tasted of spice and smelled of sandalwood, and she breathed him in as they were enveloped in a whirlwind of downy feathers and leaves.

When she opened her eyes and stared.  The face which looked back was filled with an awestruck expression, and graced with the longest lashes, an aquiline nose, and the softest and fullest lips. As a pair of strong arms wrapped around her, she couldn't help pressing against the very human—and extremely _masculine_ body—which felt so warm and delicious against her own.

She kissed him again, ignoring the snowfall which began to coat the area with its crystalline beauty.  Its whiteness clung to the tips of her lashes and dusted the curve of her cheeks.

"Rey?!" The concerned voice of an older male shouted in the distance.  Anxious footsteps pounded down the hill, sliding towards them until he came to a skidding stop.

Luke looked incredulously at the incapacitated stormtroopers to the side.  His brows disappeared further under the silvery tips of his blonde hair upon seeing the twisted body of Barbot Ren several feet away.

"Rey.."  He moved to help her up, reddening as he took in her disheveled appearance and the bared chest of the male underneath.

 _The Jedis really need to revisit their opinions on celibacy_ , Kylo thought wryly as he saw his uncle's deepening flush. Despite all which had transpired between them, he could not help but to give the older man a cocky grin.

"Uhh, and— _Ben_?!" The name escaped Luke's lips in huge exhalation.  It was amazing how much emotion three little letters could hold.

 _Ben_. It was a name tied to memories of the past, of a life and love rife with sorrow and betrayal, bestowed upon him by a family he had thought forever lost.

Kylo repeated it slowly.  Its taste was somewhat unfamiliar, yet he was surprised to find the flavor neither bitter nor stale.

 _"Ben_ ," Rey breathed.  Her voice rang out, his name strong and sweet.  On her lips, it augured a future of promise and hope.

Luke leaned forward and held out his hand.

"Come with us, Ben.  Come back with us, at least to Ahch-To."

Ben's heart burst with longing.  He wanted to say yes, to take this first step. But the risk of putting the ones he loved in the path of Snoke's retribution was too great.

"Snoke won't be satisfied until everything I care about is destroyed."

"So we'll fight him. Together," Rey said determinedly.

"It won't be easy." Ben's jaw worked as he thought of the extent his former master would go to in order to hunt him down.

Luke drew him to his feet.  When Ben stood, Luke's hand remained on his shoulder.  The touch, while restrained, was surprisingly gentle.

"The best things in life rarely are, Ben.  That is what makes them worth fighting for."

Rey retrieved his fallen lightsaber and placed it in his grasp. He palmed the heavy metal hilt uncertainly.  It had been created by his own hands, forged on the elements of anger and denial as well as a repudiation of his past. 

He wondered whether its sharp and violent edges would forever define him, or whether he would ever be able to put such a monstrous burden to rest.

He swallowed thickly, unaware that he was trembling until Rey's slim fingers curled over his own.  She skimmed the back of his calloused hands, her pressure reassuring and strong.

"This is who you are," she murmured as she gave him an encouraging squeeze.  "All that's best of dark and bright." 

They stood hand in hand as they clutched it together--his past, present and future entwined.

He took a deep breath and flicked on the switch.  A smile slowly broke out over his face as the lightsaber sputtered and then flared to life, its smooth blade lighting the snowy landscape in its steady and beautiful glow.

 

 

  _ **@~Fin~@**_

 

_** ** _

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos to those who caught all the winks to **_Beauty and the Beast_** and **_Howl's Moving Castle_**. Both were such influences on the conceptualization of the story and the art, I couldn't resist.  <3
> 
> Tumblr links:  
> picture 1: [**Dreams**](http://nerdherderette.tumblr.com/post/155502986913/desire-can-be-a-powerful-but-capricious-mistress).  
>  picture 2: [**Transformation**](http://nerdherderette.tumblr.com/post/155503020129/he-was-a-person-who-struggled-with-balancing-the)
> 
>  
> 
> *Come say "hi" on [Tumblr!](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/nerdherderette)


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